joke

[chelseasmiler]

John is asleep in bed with his wife when there's a loud knocking at the front door. He rolls over, looks at the clock and sees that it's 3am. "Sod that" he says and goes back to sleep. 5 minutes later the knocking starts again - louder.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" mumbles his wife
Sighing, John gets out of bed, goes down the stairs and opens the front door. A man is standing there getting soaked in the pouring rain.
"Sorry to bother you mate," he says "But you couldn't give us a push could you?"
"A PUSH??" John says "It's 3 o'clock in the morning and I was asleep. P*ss off!"
He slams the door, goes back to bed and tells his wife what happened.
"John you are a dick! Remember what happened the night we broke down in the rain on the way to pick up the kids and you had to knock on that bloke's door to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to p*ss off?"
Sheepishly, John gets dressed and goes downstairs. Opening the door he can't see the stranger so he shouts "Mate, do you still want a push?"
"Yes please, mate!" comes the reply.
John peers into the darkness.
"So where are you then?"
"I'm over here on the swings."

[memorabilia]

rofl.

[defg746]

CHI hair products represent some of the best styling tools and products on the market. CHI stands for Cationic Hydration Interlink, and merchandise is actually produced and sold by the Farouk Systems Group, a company based in Houston, TX, which is unique in that it is owned and operated by hair stylists. This means that a great deal of expert knowledge is used in the development and production of CHI products. The CHI product line includes a collection of styling products, hair dryers, and flat iron hair straighteners.CHI styling products are available for many different types of hair. There are specialty products for curly, dry, color-treated, damaged, and thinning hair. There is also a line of thermal styling products that act as a protector against styling tools such as hair dryers and flat irons; the high levels of heat that these products output can weaken and damage hair if not properly protected. CHI also has developed a line of organic hair care products called Olive Nutrient Therapy. All the products in this line, including shampoo, conditioner, treatment paste, and glaze, are certified organic and are made with essential and natural oils.The hair dryers that CHI sells produce negative ions, which help dry hair faster and can help reduce the amount of frizz and static electricity in hair. The PRO dryer and Turbo dryer both operate at 1300 watts. The CHI Nano is a 1400-watt dryer, and it utilizes two vents; since more air can be brought in with two vents as opposed to one, this creates quicker drying times. The CHI Rocket is an 1800-wat hair dryer, and is quiet and lightweight.CHI is probably best known for its line of flat irons. Some of the newest technologies being utilized in CHI flatirons are digital displays and auto-digital features. A digital display replaces more traditional dial temperature settings; by having a digital temperature gauge, users can set the precise temperature at which they want to set their straightener, instead of estimating with the dial. Also, CHI's auto-digital hair straighteners have timers that can be set so that the straightener will automatically shut off after the preset time has elapsed. This can cut down on electricity costs, and is a safe way to make sure hair appliances are not left on for extended periods of time. CHI's Nano line of flat irons employs technology that kills bacteria and sterilizes the products as they are being used. A CHI Turbo flat iron has felt wrapped around the plates for heat protection, and uses a sliding bar to adjust the straightener's temperature. Volumizing flat irons also use sliding temperature control, and have curved plates, which allow the hair straightener to double as a curling iron, and can also help create volume at the hair's roots. CHI's line of original flat iron hair straighteners include some of CHI's best-selling hair products, and come in several different plate widths. Lastly, for those wanting to straighten their hair in style, a pink CHI straightener creates a fashion statement both through its bright color and effective hair straightening.

[qrst422]

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[rene7843]

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[giantmonster]

Nice pushy joke.. thats just awsome.. no wonder what will happen if i was in that situation...

[ish]

I'll be really ****ed if someone said that to me. LOL.